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Tuesday April 25 , 2017
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Domestic Violence Part 4: Starting Over

A huge congratulations to you for making it out of that horrific situation!  You dug down deep and found your inner strength.  Your new life awaits you!  You are on your own personal journey to becoming whole again.  Here are some tips for you:

Learn from the past.  This is the biggest thing.  See all the signs that where there that you were truly blinded from seeing and believing.

Don’t beat yourself up.  You are human just like everyone else in this world.  And there are a whole lot of us who have traveled down your same road.

Get yourself help.  There is only one special you in this world.  Make yourself whole again.   Get you and your children into counseling as soon as you can.  It’s a good thing.

Take a deep breath.  Think back and remember all the things that you loved doing.  Do those things again.  Start bringing back the old you.  Learn to live and love and laugh again.

Be patient with yourself and the people around you.  Rome wasn’t built in one day.  Everything is done in moderation.  You don’t have to go out every night of the week to try and make up for the lost time.

Things will not be rosy all the time.  In fact, you might be struggling to make ends meet.  But here’s the difference-you are making it.  You are doing it!  You’ve had the strength all along.  You have no one standing over you controlling you.  You and your children can sing and dance to the music without someone else turning it off.

So, get off of your knees, your prayers have been answered.  Open up that front door and go in the direction that you want your life to go.  Be happy and be safe!  And welcome to your new life.

Although you are starting your life over again you must bear in mind that the person you were with is very unstable at this point.  You were that person’s sole focus and now you’re gone.  You are at risk and you have to keep in mind that you and your family’s safety are vital right now.

Here are some safety tips for you to utilize:

1) Pre-program the police phone number into your home phone and cell phone.

2) Make copies of your order of protection and give them to the police, so all 3 shifts can have it and be aware of it.  Also, give a copy to your employer; let them know what’s going on.  Carry it with you at all times.

3) Try not to be alone.  It is best to always have friends with you.

4) Make it a habit to always look around you.  Notice everybody and every vehicle.  If you are being followed, go straight to the police station or fire department and call the police.

Again, so many women have walked in your shoes.  That is how these things have come to be known.  Don’t be another statistic, be safe!  Welcome to your new life and I wish you all of the happiness in the world.  Be strong, not just for yourself and your family, but also for the women who have been there and for the women who haven’t found the strength to get out.

Comments  

 
0 #4 Rosy Login 2017-01-18 10:48
Hey great post! I hope it's alright that I shared this on my Facebook, if not, no worries just
let me know and I'll remove it. Either way keep up the good work.
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0 #3 Tami Principe 2014-08-21 19:10
Thank you Farm Heroes!
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0 #2 2011-09-28 18:55
Natalie, thank you so much for reading my blog and posting your comment. I wish I could take the nightmares away. Thank you for writing your book of poetry, please post the name of your book and where it can be purchased. Blessings, and always the very best to you. You are a true survivor.
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0 #1 2011-09-24 20:32
Hi, my name is Natalie I am the author that talked to you at the book fair last weekend at the Bourbonnais Library. I to have been abused so much so the man finally received a sentence of 12 years but only did three and a half years. I managed to get out of the relationship mainly because of his being incarcerated. The easiest way for me to deal with the abuse (which I still cower and have flashbacks and nightmares of)is to put it into writing, my poetry helps those who have been abused or may be in an abusive relationship that they are not alone. There is help out there and others have gone through what they are or may even still be going through it. I am one who is taking a strong stand against domestic violence and doing further research on such issues. I still to this day feel even though he is not allowed in this county that he is still going to sneak here and try to finish what he started.
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Womens Recreation

Resources

Statistics:

Every 9 seconds a woman is beaten.
In Illinois, more than 300,000 women are abused each year.
More women are injured by domestic violence than are injured in auto accidents, muggings, or rape combined.
40% of female homicides occur as a result of domestic violence.
57% of all homeless women and children are victims of domestic violence.
97% of those reporting domestic violence are women.
60% of battered women report that their first abusive relationship began in high school.
36% of high school relationships involve some type of violence.
One in five teenage girls report to have suffered physical and/or sexual violence at the hands of a dating partner.

 

Resources:

Crisis Center of  South Suburbia or call 708-429-SAFE (7233)

Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the SSFS, South Suburban Family Shelter, Inc. at 708-335-3028 (these are hotline numbers).

Safety Tips: Keep tabs on your abuser, make sure they’re not watching or following you.  Be safe, notice your surroundings, the people, and the cars, and try to not be alone.  Carry your cell phone at all times and pre-program emergency phone numbers.

You can donate to the Crisis Center of South Suburbia by clicking on this link:

https://www.crisisctr.org/how_to_help/crisis_center_donate_online.asp